Thursday, February 21, 2013

The Journey Home

People remain supportive but perplexed about this walking thing. One of the recent frequently-asked questions is, "If you walk to work, how do you get home?"

I'd like to tell you that I walk home every day in addition to walking to work, but I'm not a hero here. Although some people make me feel that way. When I told our family doctor about my walking goals, he puffed up with pride.

"That's fantastic!" he said. "You're motivating me! I really should go walking on my break today."

My doctor is awesome. For one, he's overweight. You know the expression, "Never trust a skinny chef?" By that logic, the expression should be, "Never trust a chubby doctor," right? But he struggles just like the rest of us. And he's a great doctor. He listens, is compassionate, and doesn't dole out pills like a lot of other doctors who are slaves to the pharmaceutical companies. And why would I judge him? Overweight people are everywhere. Take Governor Chris Christie. So what if he's overweight? He's making plenty of decisions in between burgers and Girl Scout cookies. Let's give overweight people a break, already.

Yet despite his enthusiasm, my doctor suggested that to increase weight loss, I should increase my mileage. At first, I was a little miffed that three miles a day wasn't good enough given that before this, I casually dated a treadmill about 4 times a month. But my doctor seems to think that four miles a day is a magic number. His suggestion was that I walk to work, have a healthy snack in the late afternoon, then walk halfway home. Some days I do get an extra mile in, and my supportive husband comes to get me. But that's not always an option, and some days, I'm just plain lazy at the end of a long day at work.

This leads me to need alternative transportation methods to get me home. Some days, I take Austin's Capital Metro Bus. There are some positive aspects of this choice for sure. For starters, bus fare is extremely inexpensive (for me, $.50 one-way). Not having to focus on driving is nice, because you can listen to music or read, or just gaze out the window while you're carted home. The bus is also generally on time, and if you look at it like I do in my play-pretend mind where I'm famous, it's like having your own personal driver. The problem is that you share that driver with an extremely random group of people, and you're all in the same limo. (My boss was riding the bus for a while, and always called it the Green Limo, which gave the city bus a glamorous association.) Most days, my route is full of professionals and students, and the ride home is quiet and cozy.

My problem is that the past few times I've been on the city bus, I've encountered some unsavory characters. Take the guy who hopped on the bus a few weeks ago and immediately began yelling at the driver for not being patient with the fistful of nickels he was shoving into the coin slot at a turtle's pace. People began rolling their eyes, irritated, and I was feeling about the same when I noticed his hat advertised that he was a Vietnam vet. Given how we treat our vets, I instantly felt a soft spot for him, even though he was yelling and pretty belligerent. But when he started dropping f-bombs and tripped over an old woman's foot and gave her expletive-ridden instructions on what to do with herself, my soft spot turned hard. I thought about saying something, except I was afraid of him, so I spent the rest of the bus ride hoping he wasn't packing heat. It's Texas, after all.

Or, about a month ago, I ended up across from a morbidly obese guy who, when I sat down, immediately flashed a smile that revealed one single front tooth. He was proud of that solitary tooth! Upon further inspection I noticed that he was wearing threadbare pale blue sweatpants that were about four sizes too small. When he sat down, he spread his legs so far I wondered if he was a college cheerleader in his younger years (simply because those are the only guys I know who can do Chinese splits, or who would admit to doing them). I shouldn't have looked, but it was obvious that this poor guy didn't bother to put on underwear. Cringing, I focused on my phone, checking emails and doing my best to ignore the nasty show in front of me. Just when I thought it couldn't get worse, he reached into his pocket and fetched a tube of toothpaste, and proceeded to finger brush his single tooth while I watched on in horror. The only redeeming quality about this entire scene was that the guy was practicing some dental hygiene on his only remaining tooth. 

The negative bus experiences left me yearning for something a little more civilized. Car2Go to the rescue! Car2Go is one of my favorite methods of transportation home because it offers a private car, and it's a great business idea. As long as you don't mind driving a car that's basically a moped with doors, it will definitely get you from A to B. It's a simple concept. You join the program, which is free, and pay as you rent. To get a car, you go online, see what cars are free in your area, and either reserve it online or just walk over and grab it. It's inexpensive as well at just $.38/minute. Another bonus is if you want to go downtown and have some adult beverages, Car2Go can get you there, and a cab can get you home. That's a very responsible approach to happy hours. My only minor complaint with Car2Go is that sometimes, I spot a car and want to take it, and it's already booked. Or, because I drive like a granny (as one should in a motorized tin can), sometimes going 3 miles in traffic costs me $8, and while for many city dwellers, that's no big thing, it ends up costing more than I'd spend on gas if I drove. I also find that the per-minute rate encourages me to speed, or take other options during peak rush hour.

Several people have asked me why I don't ride a bike. I won't go into the details, but I didn't learn how to ride a bike until I was 26 years old. Thanks to my awesome stepson Matthew, who bought me a bike and challenged me to learn to ride it, I don't have to spend my entire life missing out on what is a very fun experience. But I'm not a confident bike-rider. If I hopped on a bike and attempted to ride through a congested 3-mile drive home, I'd be dead in a matter of days. 

The other day, I told my story to my new eye doctor, who offices downtown near my office at Stars in Your Eyes Optometry and Optical. (On a side note, it's a great business! They're efficient, offer great customer service, and a huge selection of stylish frames. I recommend it highly!) The doctor didn't ask all of the typical nay-saying questions I hear when I first tell people I've begun walking. Rather, he smiled and told me that he bikes about the same distance every day. He got me.

So if you read this blog and think I'm a complete nutcase, that's totally fine. On the other hand, if you read it and are frustrated that you work too far from work to walk each day, what about biking? Because you could totally bike one-way, lock your bike, and bus it home. And who knows? You might be like a friend of a friend of mine who took the bus, and someone on the bus sidled up and offered to sell them a pigeon. While I don't know what the going rate for a pigeon is these days, you must admit, if you choose to take alternative methods home, you're guaranteed to have an adventure.

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